A few tips to make the most of bonding time in training with your significant other
PhotoS by Kate Trifo and Munbaik Cycling Clothing/Unsplash
Once upon a time, my then-girlfriend asked me if she wanted to run at the Academic Oval of UP Diliman, a perennial, open-air haven for runners and athletes of all kinds. Jumping at the chance for some clean and physical bonding, I said yes.
The day came, we started on the run… and halfway through it, she wanted to quit. Slightly annoyed that she asked me to exercise only to stop before it was even over, she told me what I had done wrong: Apparently, she wanted someone who would stick by her as she tried to get in the groove of running. I didn’t realize that as I trained the way I wanted to and left her in the dust as I ran ahead.
That was an important lesson I had honestly never thought of when it came to training together as a couple, and now I’m here to make sure that you don’t make the same mistake I did.
It’s nice to get your significant other involved in physical training, so you’ll want to protect that setup as much as possible as the sessions could help you strengthen your relationship.
Here are a few tips for those getting into training together as a couple:
1. Set some ground rules
Before starting any workout session together, communicate, figure out each other’s intentions for the training, and align. Do they want you around so you can be physically there for them as they work out? Is the idea of being in a session together enough, and can you do your own thing while generally being in the same space? It’s best to know what they really want, because chances are they just want to feel safe working out with you.
Before starting any workout session together, communicate, figure out each other’s intentions for the training, and align
2. Set your ego aside
Now that you’ve figured out what the both of you want from a workout session together, you’re probably going to do something that the more inexperienced one between the two of you will need help with.
You might have to get rid of the idea that you’re going to go hard on your goals in this session, as you’ll likely be spending your time doing partner exercises and helping them learn and get better. You can work on your own goals and break your own records in your solo workouts.
3. Be nice to your partner
Remember what I said about the couple workout being a safe space? That includes the way you behave with them. While they’re there with you to do something you can both enjoy, they’re also there to improve themselves through exercise.
That means no mean stuff—don’t be snarky, don’t point out any flaws, be encouraging, and fix what needs to be fixed without being an a-hole. If you want to have more of these sessions, you’ll have to keep them comfortable with working out with you.
4. Keep PDA to a minimum
There’s certainly nothing wrong with PDA, but if you’re doing it in the gym, you’ll likely be in someone’s way. Especially if you’re hogging a bench, a machine, or god forbid, a shower. Save the lovin’ for outside.